It's not uncommon for conflicts to arise in relationships, whether they're romantic, familial, or platonic. However, handling these conflicts can make all the difference in whether the relationship thrives or falls apart. 

Unfortunately, many of us fall into the trap of using toxic communication habits that only exacerbate the issue.

Some of the common communication habits that can be detrimental to any relationship include:

1. Blaming each other: Instead of taking responsibility for our own actions, we may be quick to point the finger and blame the other person when a conflict arises. This can lead to defensiveness and escalate the situation.

2. Criticizing and judging: When we criticize and judge the other person, we're not only attacking their behavior but also their character. This can be hurtful and cause the other person to feel defensive or attacked.

3. Wanting to be right: When we focus on being right rather than finding a solution, we can become stubborn and unwilling to compromise. This can lead to a stalemate where neither party is willing to budge.

4. Withholding: Withholding information or emotions can be just as damaging as being overly critical. It can create a sense of mistrust and distance between the parties involved.

5. Not listening: When we don't truly listen to the other person's perspective, we may miss important information or misunderstand their intentions. This can lead to further miscommunication and conflict.

6. Generalizing: Making sweeping statements about the other person's behavior or character can be hurtful and inaccurate. It can also lead to assumptions and misunderstandings.

7. Being dismissive: Dismissing the other person's feelings or concerns can make them feel unimportant or unheard. This can cause them to withdraw or become defensive.

8. Lack of respect: Treating the other person disrespectfully can erode the foundation of the relationship. It can cause them to feel undervalued or unappreciated.

9. Lack of honesty: Being dishonest or withholding the truth can create a sense of betrayal and damage the trust between the parties involved.

10. Not being aware of cultural differences: Cultural differences can influence how we communicate and understand each other. It's essential to be mindful of these differences and strive to find common ground.

11. Misinterpretation: Misunderstanding the other person's intentions or meaning can lead to conflict and hurt feelings.

12. Manipulation: Using manipulation tactics to get what we want can damage the relationship and erode trust.

13. Defensiveness: Becoming defensive can create a sense of deflection and make the other person feel unheard or misunderstood.

14. Hostility: Using aggressive or hostile language can be hurtful and cause the other person to feel attacked or threatened.

15. Expectations: Having unrealistic or uncommunicated expectations can lead to disappointment and conflict.

16. Individualism/selfishness: Being too focused on our own needs and desires can cause us to neglect the other person's feelings and needs.

17. Lack of flexibility and compromises: Being unwilling to compromise or find creative solutions can create a sense of incompatibility and cause the relationship to stagnate.

18. Misunderstanding our triggers: Understanding our own triggers and how they impact our communication can help us avoid unnecessary conflict and hurt feelings.

Conflict in relationships can be managed through effective communication and mutual understanding. Being proactive in handling conflict is vital – addressing issues as soon as possible is important. At the same time, it's essential to consider different perspectives and practice empathy. Emotional intelligence and mindfulness are invaluable skills for averting conflicts or diffusing them more effectively. Lastly, making compromises and practicing flexibility are also paramount. 

Here at VitalMinds Counseling, we offer insight, advice, guidance, and skills to help improve communication in relationships more holistically. More importantly, we provide a non-judgmental and confidential space so that deeper issues can be safely discussed with someone who genuinely cares and understands your concerns.

Taking the first step to receiving help requires bravery; allow yourself to feel heard while discovering self-awareness with your partner or family member. If you are ready to take the next step in couples counseling. Call, text or schedule online with us today!